Saturday, July 01, 2006


my hatred for my mother is slowly coming back.
i thought i put it all behind me.
but she always seems to do something to make it surge back to life.
if she has nothing to do,she will scold me.
if shes not busy playing mahjong,she will pick on me.
if shes lost alot of money the night before,she will storm in the room in the morning and start screaming her head off.
i really dont get her.
maybe she has to sign up for an anger management course.
too angry and she takes it out on her daughter.
i can tell shes given up on my older sister.
they dont even talk for fuck's sake.
the brother,well,obviously he is so "loving and caring and the most adoring and wonderful son in the whole world"
so he obviously doesnt get the shit i get.
just now she just came into the room when i was sleeping.
"can you sell your doll?give him away for all i care!spending so much of my damn money!"
FUCK.
i offered to pay you back.
you denied,acting all so nice and saying "keep the money for your back to school clothes~"
and now when all the money's gone to the school clothes,you tell me this?
i can just kill you,momma.
i may sound like some crazed psycho gone wonky,but its true.
she just keeps contradicting herself!
nowadays,the sight of her just pisses me off.
i need to dettach her image away from myself.
if not,i'll just go crazy.
like uber mad psycho asylum kinda crazy.
oh fuck it all.
i think my life is screwed up,but i know there are others out there worse off.
but this is my blog,so please let me whine and be a bitch here at least.
now to get a new sketchbook and the charcoal fixing thingie.
goodbye beautiful world.

Tara went mad at 10:48 AM